The Orphan

Greetings boys and girls, yes it has been a while but I couldnt really think of anything relevant to discuss on this blog so ive decided to just use this space to review movies that ive seen recently and in the past. I will slander the movies I dont like unmercifully and also give the appropriate praise to the movies that I do like, so lets get started. Todays movie review will be about a scary flick called The Orphan, directed by Jaume Collet-Serra, now ive actually wanted to see this movie for a while but never did get the chance, so im glad that I fiinally got to see it. The movie is about a husband and a wife who go through the traumatic experience of losing a child during labour, this tragic events leads to the mothers drinking problem and her depression as a whole. Eventually Kate and John Coleman, who are played by Vera Farmiga and Peter Sarsgaard, decide to adopt a very cute, mature, well versed Russian girl who has a talent for painting among other things. This already made me ask questions, why the hell do John and Kate want an adopted child when theyve already got two kids?! There two kids are Max and Danni Coleman, who are played by Aryana Engineer and Jimmy Bennett, Ive seen Jimmi Bennett in other movies but for the life of me I cant remember what the movies names are, but i digress, Kate and Peter adopt the little Russian girl whos name is Esther, and needless to say, as the movie progresses, everyone starts to realise that Esther is not as sweet and innocent as they once thought, as a matter of fact, this bitch is crazy! I mean who kills a nun with a hammer?! The movie follows the same basic rules of any other scary movie in the sense that the killer is a great hider, there are some good musical build ups that lead to anti-climaxes which i actually liked and the killer cannot be killed easily. So in my mind this was just another scary movie that just went for the adopted evil orphan angle and added a few twists and turns as Kate tries to save her family but also find out the truth and history about Esther. So all in all I give The Orpahn a 6/10, a fair score I think.

Catch phrase for the week: ' I am not your fucking mommy!!' This catch phrase is quite useful to use when your angry at someone or something, it should be followed by a powerful kick, very much like how Lionidas kicked that persian messenger in 300, it has the same effect, so put that in your office and frame it, Im out.