Devil

Ok, im a little pissed off that Kung Fu Panda isnt showing in Bloemfontein yet, so il have to tie myself over with another review and I have chosen a little gem simply titled Devil. Ok so when you hear the title youl probably start to think that youre in for an Exorcist movie or something similar to Constantine, but you would be wrong. The idea of the movie is that the devil diguises himself as a person and torments the damned before taking their souls straight to hell, theirs a little narrative at the beginning and even a bible verse to suck you deeper into the actual film. The film is produced by M. Night Shaymalan, popular for movies such as The Village and Signs and also known for his big plot twists, but enough about him, lets get into this bitch. I enjoyed the opening of the movie, which saw the city filmed upside down, now obviously to the untrained eye, this wouldnt mean much, but the nuance of this shows distress, basically any symbol or flag shown upside down, is a symbol of distress. All the action happens in an elevator that breaks down, 5 people are stuck in the elevator and one of them is the Devil, the fun happens everytime the lights go off and youl spend a good deal of time trying to figure out which one of them is Satan lol . The five include a security gaurd with a history of violence, an old women whos a thief and a racist, a slimy salesman, a girl and the typical mysterious guy in the corner. Each of them die one by one and anyone who tries to help, also suffers a painful death. So whats right and wrong about this movie? Well despite the opening scene, the movie is creepy, it has enough of those surprises that make your heart jump up to your mouth and it will have you thinking at the end of it, despite that, the movies twist isnt really that strong and there are only so many creative ways that a person can be killed in an elevator, so for the sake of being smart, im going to give this movie a 666/10 lol(evil laugh). Ok I dont think ive sworn enough here so FUck!!!!!!!! Shittt! Shiit! That should do.

SLANDER LAND: Love and Other Drugs

SLANDER LAND: Love and Other Drugs: "Greeting ladies and germs, gongrats to everyone who made it to the month of May, and a raise of the glass to those who didnt. This next blo..."

Love and Other Drugs

Greeting ladies and germs, gongrats to everyone who made it to the month of May, and a raise of the glass to those who didnt. This next blog is going to not only be about the movie Love and Other Drugs, but itl also be the space where I take out my hatred for all romantic comedies. First of all, they shouldnt even be called romantic comedies! theres nothing funny about these predictable pieces of crap, heres a general idea of how all romantic comedies go; boy meets girl, girl doesnt like boy, girl learns to like boy, girl falls in love with boy, the end.............O'Ryan pukes!!!!!!!! So why do we watch these abominations? Welll in my defense, casual dating will lead to it and as for Love and Other Drugs, I honestly thought it was a documentory on fucking and drugs, but lets get to the actual movie. Jake Gyllenhall is the protagonist of this film so its already off to a bad start, he becomes a sales rep for Phyzer and falls in love with a girl who has parkinsons, but she only wants sex and doesnt want a relationship.......What a Shock, the girls played by Ann Hatheway. He discovers that he loves and decides to go to the ends of the earth to be with her (ends of the earth in this case being Canada) he gives the predictable speech of how he needs her and they live happily ever after. Thank me now cause ive saved you an 1h 30. Now to grade this puppy, starting from 10, I will deduct. Ok, minus 1 for the fact that its a romantic comedy, minus 2 for Jakes goofy ass, minus 1 for Jakes fat ass brother, minus 3 to me for sitting through this, minus 2 for pradictability and plus 2 for the hot phillipina girl thats naked in a tub towards the end ofthe movie and finally another1 for Hatheways boobs. Final score 4/10.