Anywhere but Home

Hey boys and girls, me again with another movie, now ive realised that  I cant just review the movies that I enjoy but il also have to sift through the shit, its only fair i suppose, so lets get started. Todays movie is called Anywhere but Home starring Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon, now it must be said that I really do not like Vince Vaughn as an actor, he has this annoying thing where he goes on these babbling rants  where he just doesnt shut up, its suppose to be funny but its NOT! Hes also always type casted, I cant remember a single one of his movies that werent romantic comedies, but atleast Reese Witherspoon is a pretty enough actress to look at, but I continue, generally I really dont like romantic comedies, and the fact that this is a Christmas romantic comedy kinda makes it even worse. The fact of the matter is that hhis is just another predictable movie where I figured out the ending in the first 10 minutes, but enough negativity for now, looking past the predictable story line  this is a charming family movie that will leave you feeling warm and fuzzy and ready for Christmas. Vince and Reese play Brad and Kate, a couple who love eachother and feel that they both dont want to make the same mistakes that there divorced parents made by getting married and having children, but there attemtps to avoid spending Christmas with their families and leaving for Fiji instead is halted by bad weather which forces the plucky couple to spend Christmas at 4 dffierent places, not all at once ofcoarse. Now in a  nutshell, Brads dad is an old   fashioned stubborn bastard who named his kids after the states they were born in, needless to say, Brads brothers are idiots, the one brother happens  to be played by Tim McGraw. Brads mom, who is played by Sissy Spacek, is sleeping with his best friend. Dont think that Reeses parents are any better though, her mom is a religious nut and her sister, aunts and grandmother are all horny fo Brad. The only normal parent seems to be Kates dad  who is played by John Voight. Now even though each of the different venues brings on all sorts of wacky antics, this movie is not funny, its hardly ammusing, but it gets saved by the fact that its a Chrismas movie so it gets away with it, and besides, it couldve been worse, Tim Allen couldve been in it lol.
So in conclusion il be gentle, 5/10 for Anywhere but Home, its unfunny and predictable but nice for the festive season, so Merry Christmas eveyrone.

Catch phrase for the week: Misteltoe
Kate and Brad use this as a safe word in the movie whenever one of the wanted to split from an awkward situation, they would just say Mistletoe, so feel free to use this as a safe word with your friends in case you land in an awkward situation that you need to get out of quickly, so put that in your office and frame it im out.

The Orphan

Greetings boys and girls, yes it has been a while but I couldnt really think of anything relevant to discuss on this blog so ive decided to just use this space to review movies that ive seen recently and in the past. I will slander the movies I dont like unmercifully and also give the appropriate praise to the movies that I do like, so lets get started. Todays movie review will be about a scary flick called The Orphan, directed by Jaume Collet-Serra, now ive actually wanted to see this movie for a while but never did get the chance, so im glad that I fiinally got to see it. The movie is about a husband and a wife who go through the traumatic experience of losing a child during labour, this tragic events leads to the mothers drinking problem and her depression as a whole. Eventually Kate and John Coleman, who are played by Vera Farmiga and Peter Sarsgaard, decide to adopt a very cute, mature, well versed Russian girl who has a talent for painting among other things. This already made me ask questions, why the hell do John and Kate want an adopted child when theyve already got two kids?! There two kids are Max and Danni Coleman, who are played by Aryana Engineer and Jimmy Bennett, Ive seen Jimmi Bennett in other movies but for the life of me I cant remember what the movies names are, but i digress, Kate and Peter adopt the little Russian girl whos name is Esther, and needless to say, as the movie progresses, everyone starts to realise that Esther is not as sweet and innocent as they once thought, as a matter of fact, this bitch is crazy! I mean who kills a nun with a hammer?! The movie follows the same basic rules of any other scary movie in the sense that the killer is a great hider, there are some good musical build ups that lead to anti-climaxes which i actually liked and the killer cannot be killed easily. So in my mind this was just another scary movie that just went for the adopted evil orphan angle and added a few twists and turns as Kate tries to save her family but also find out the truth and history about Esther. So all in all I give The Orpahn a 6/10, a fair score I think.

Catch phrase for the week: ' I am not your fucking mommy!!' This catch phrase is quite useful to use when your angry at someone or something, it should be followed by a powerful kick, very much like how Lionidas kicked that persian messenger in 300, it has the same effect, so put that in your office and frame it, Im out.