Idle Hands

Ok check this out, ive decided to do some throwbacks, in other words, review movies that I saw back when I was younger and that Ive recently come into contact with. Idle Hands is the winner today and I was really taken back when I watched this movie. Now this movie is the classic horror/comedy hybrid that leans more towards the comedy side. Devon Sour is the protagonist and I have no clue what happened to his career, I mean after Fnal Destination the guy just disappeared. Anyway, his hand gets possesed and he kills off his two best friends who come back to life and attempt to help him kill his hand which he cut off.............is any of this making sense? Jessica Alba is also in the movie and is the eye candy to enjoy and all in all I just enjoyed the movie, not much else to say, I must say that I just enjoyed seeing things like late night MTV, walk mans and old ass tvs........fuck im lazy! 6/10

SLANDER LAND: The Drawn Together Movie

SLANDER LAND: The Drawn Together Movie: "Ok recently ive been reviewing mostly mainstream movies that have ranged from great to fairly ok, but ive been neglecting the truly shit mov..."

The Drawn Together Movie

Ok recently ive been reviewing mostly mainstream movies that have ranged from great to fairly ok, but ive been neglecting the truly shit movies, the movies that go straight to dvd, the movies that make you want to blow your brains out while your watching it, the movies that make watching paint dry a fun activity, well The Drawn Together manages all of this, but hey what do you expect, its made by Comedy Central. We all know Comedy Central right? They the one responsible for one of the coolest shows ever, South Park, ofcoarse I feel like Comedy Central succeeded with one show but have failed with all of their other attempts, The Drawn Together show being one of the failed attempts, now I know that making fun of Comedy Central is like pelting a Dung Beatle with shit, its pointless but lets get down to. The Drawn Together Movie is based on the show of the same name, the Drawn Together show on Comedy Central is apparently a cartoon reality show starring knock off cartoons drawn in different styles, sounds good so far right? Theirs a japanese rat thats supposed to be Pikachu from Pokemon, a pig with a thick outline, a fat whore whos suppose to be Betty Boop, a super hero whos dating a corpse, some weird yellow guy, some anime video game character and a girl with a fox tale and ears. Now as far as plots are concerned, ive taken baths deeper then this movies plot! The characters of the Drawn Together house, discover that there show has been cancelled for quite some time, they must now find a way to get to Make a Point Land in order to get a point, they are lead there by the star of a show called Suck my Taint, now if you think im high and making this all up, Im not, this is actually the plot of the movie!! The protagonist are ofcoarse persued by some guy and his robot whos called Israel for some reason and he wants the Drawn Together cast to pay for the death of his family who fell in a pit of acid inhabited by crocodiles..................anyway, the movie is an hour and 11 minutes of foul language, nudity and shit, I suppose to some extent the directors felt that if they could get a few shock laughs then they did there job, I guess at the end of the day, even the makers of the film knew that this was a piece of shit and would go straight to dvd, so its hard to diss the movie, so il give it 1/10, im off to watch South Park

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS - PART 2

OK so heres the deal, I find it incredibly difficult to consistently review the movies that I see, the issue is that there are so many of them and in most cases the movies are so shite that I choose not to waste energy in cursing it and the people that made it, but I decided to go mainstream and because Pirates 4 was so shit, Ive decided to go with Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2, so lets get started. Ok so besides the group of cackling hens that were sitting behing me and the kid sitting next to me making me uncomfortable, I really enjoyed this movie. The trick here was that I went into the movie expecting nothing spectacular and I left feeling that the money was well spent, which is saying a lot because part one was so horrible, but anyway, lets look at plot. The movie is typical good vs. evil, the good guy is a nerd with a lightning bolt on his head and his best friend is a ginger with a hot girlfriend, while the bad guy looks like the great white shark from the Batman comics, that or a guy who didnt get out of a burning building quick enough, you be the judge. Harry finds out in the first movie that he can only kill Voldemort by destroying little items that posses bits of the dark lords soul, these items are called Horcruxes, but this is where I raise my question, wouldnt Harry have to kill himself in order to fully kill Voldemort? I mean a part of Voldemort was tranferred into Potter when he tried to kill him as a baby. The movie also loses points because of Neville Longbottoms stupid monologue, I couldve gone without that but other then that, the kiddies have matured into good actors and the movie has some wonderful effects and monsters, good drama, twists and turns, romance and a pinch of humour, so I look forward to seeing Hermione in other movies, the 2 boys can go hibernate for all I care 8/10, now you see me, and now you dont! POOF!!!!!!!!

Kung Fu Panda 2

I felt like a 12 year old kid when I stepped into the theater with my 3D glasses, pop corn and coke to watch what I was hoping was going to be a great sequal to what I believed to be one of the greatest movies ever! Sadly I walked out with a sense of dissappointment but at the same time, a large sense of understanding. At the end of the day, Kung Fu Panda is a francise movie that can sell itself on the name alone, movie makers could make a killing without even lifting a finger to make the movie brilliant, and lets face it, surpassing the brilliance of the first movie was something that wasnt going to be done easily, so lets get down to it. Po is the main protagonist in the movie and happens to be the dragon warrior but still maintains his funny/goofy attitude, the antagonist is a peacock for some reason and wants to rule over China but a prophecy claims that he will be defeated by a black and white warrior, so he goes out and kills all the pandas.................sorry, I dosed off, this plot seems quite similar to the plot in Vin Diesels Chronicles of Riddick does it not? There are 3 new characters in the movie which include the son of the legendary Master Flying Rhyno, then theirs Master Croc who is voiced by Jean Claude Van Damme and finally Master Lightning OX or some shit like that, and both of these guys are pussies!!!! The movie will certainly have you laughing even though it goes down the predictable route of Po trying to unmask his mysterious past, the problem I have with this movie is that Po doesnt act like the Dragon Warrior, I mean where the hell does Tigress get off telling Po what to do?!! He can destroy Ty Lang but this bitch can mouth off to him? That just doesnt sit well with me. I just feel like the movie was missing something and I dont know what but at the same time, in all fairness, it was never going to be easy to surpass the first movie. The movie does set itself up for a Kung Fu Panda 3 so lets hope that it pulls off an Oceans 11. The bottom line is that I love Kung Fu Panda, but the sequel just didnt have the same effect, double the awesomness? Unfortunately not. 6/10 Skedoosh

Devil

Ok, im a little pissed off that Kung Fu Panda isnt showing in Bloemfontein yet, so il have to tie myself over with another review and I have chosen a little gem simply titled Devil. Ok so when you hear the title youl probably start to think that youre in for an Exorcist movie or something similar to Constantine, but you would be wrong. The idea of the movie is that the devil diguises himself as a person and torments the damned before taking their souls straight to hell, theirs a little narrative at the beginning and even a bible verse to suck you deeper into the actual film. The film is produced by M. Night Shaymalan, popular for movies such as The Village and Signs and also known for his big plot twists, but enough about him, lets get into this bitch. I enjoyed the opening of the movie, which saw the city filmed upside down, now obviously to the untrained eye, this wouldnt mean much, but the nuance of this shows distress, basically any symbol or flag shown upside down, is a symbol of distress. All the action happens in an elevator that breaks down, 5 people are stuck in the elevator and one of them is the Devil, the fun happens everytime the lights go off and youl spend a good deal of time trying to figure out which one of them is Satan lol . The five include a security gaurd with a history of violence, an old women whos a thief and a racist, a slimy salesman, a girl and the typical mysterious guy in the corner. Each of them die one by one and anyone who tries to help, also suffers a painful death. So whats right and wrong about this movie? Well despite the opening scene, the movie is creepy, it has enough of those surprises that make your heart jump up to your mouth and it will have you thinking at the end of it, despite that, the movies twist isnt really that strong and there are only so many creative ways that a person can be killed in an elevator, so for the sake of being smart, im going to give this movie a 666/10 lol(evil laugh). Ok I dont think ive sworn enough here so FUck!!!!!!!! Shittt! Shiit! That should do.

SLANDER LAND: Love and Other Drugs

SLANDER LAND: Love and Other Drugs: "Greeting ladies and germs, gongrats to everyone who made it to the month of May, and a raise of the glass to those who didnt. This next blo..."